Tuesday, April 3, 2007 - The female celebrities really needed to bring it tonight. They were outnumbered to begin with, six to five, when this season of Dancing With the Stars started, and after Paula Porizkova's departure last week, the women seem to be an endangered species here. This week we'll see the jive, which Len Goodman says should be full of fun, vitality, and energy. They want to see kicks, flicks, and fast spins. We'll also see the tango, which Goodman tells us should have flexed knees with no rise and fall, a slightly tighter hold, and sharp staccato movements.

John Ratzenberger compares Edyta Sliwinska to a really good director, and to help him prepare for the tango, she takes him to see a Rudolph Valentino , a.k.a. Tango Legs, film. Tonight as they dance, Ratzenberger seems to become the character before our eyes, and when the dance is finished, he drags Sliwinska by the arm to the judges' table. Goodman likes that Ratzenberger got into his character, but felt he was flailing a round a bit. Inaba was let down some with the theatrics, but realizes this dance is tougher on the men because of the hold. Tonioli compares Ratzenberger to a mafioso auditioning for a Quentin Tarentino role. As scores come in of 7, 6, and 7, Ratzenberger admits the character idea came from a guy he went to school with.

Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskly only have three or four days to learn this dance as she is doing a lot of traveling and appearances. He brings in more help by the way of his brother, Valentin Chmerkovskly. The brothers' philosophy is, "If you fail to prepare, be prepared to fail." Dancing the tango tonight to “Goldfinger”, Ali and Chmerkovskly embody James Bond and a Bond girl in every way, although we can see him guiding her along with his hand as they dance. Tonioli chastises them for breaking their hold halfway through, comparing it to a lovely story that gets hung up in the middle. Goodman also acknowledges the break in hold, but blames Ali and Chmerkovskly's time to prepare. Inaba agrees they broke the rules breaking the hold, but says Ali is still the most fabulous girl out there. As they get scores of 7 from each other judges, Ali says she won't complain and will just resolve to come back and do better the next time.

Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough are also fighting a tough schedule as he is training for the Olympic games. They fit in their jive instruction around his training, and he even gets Hough out on the ice, enjoying bossing her around for a change. They dance to the John Travolta and Uma Thurman dance number from Pulp Fiction, and he suffers a little from being too loose, yet they get in a great move at the end where he swings her around his feet. Inaba says they always have great chemistry, but she felt they were a little sloppy tonight. Tonioli compares Ohno to John Travolta's Mini Me and says he and Hough are like a ride at Disneyland. Goodman didn't like the Pulp Fiction dancing at the beginning, but says when Ohno decides to dance, he is a dancer. They get scores of 7, 8, and 8, for a total of 23.

Ian Ziering seems to be having trouble with the hip movements in the jive, so Cheryl Burke takes him to see male strippers, and he even gets on stage to try it for himself while Burke covers her eyes. It appears she's not enjoying her position on the leaderboard in fourth place after winning the past few seasons, and it's probably not coincidental that they dance tonight to “Hard-Headed Woman.” The work seems to have paid off. Bruno compares Ziering to a hot rod, and Goodman notes he thought it was Ziering's night until he messed up at the end. Inaba agrees it was a 9 until that point. Harris suggests maybe there's a second career out there for Ziering, and the assumption is that she means with stripping. They get all 8s for a total of 24.

Heather Mills is having problems with the jive, because with her prosthetic leg, she can balance on the right, but can't kick with the left, and can kick with the right, but can't balance on the left. She goes unconventional, and gets an all new prosthetic "jive" leg made. She and partner Jonathan Roberts dance the jive tonight, and it's hard to take your eyes off the big Frankenstein shoes Heather is wearing. She does yet another walkover in this routine, and yes, we get it. You can do almost anything with your prosthetic. The judges are much more impressed, with Tonioli saying Mills is incredible whether she's dancing on 1, 2, or 3 legs, Inaba saying once again Mills blew her mind, and Goodman saying if she can jive, she can do any type of dance. With 8s across the board, Mills gives credit to Roberts, as he has to choreograph around her prosthetic leg. Harris makes a great comparison between Mills' shoes and Master P's from a few seasons back.

Despite looking horrible the first week, Cyrus isn't going anywhere this week, and it will most likely be Finnessey heading home, as while her dancing improved this week, she didn't do much to endear herself to the fans that need to phone in votes for her, and she was already in trouble last week. It could be Gibbons, but she was too likable this week. Drexler was the worst, but he seems to have too many fans to go just yet.